simply... being me

A woman's beauty glows from the inside out when she is loved for who she is and not for what the world is trying to get her to be.

He will not fail thee...

Ask, and shall be given unto you...

I felt so close to him as I was going through my struggle. No matter how much I try to explain to some people, but no one will have the power of understanding that he does. I've learned my lesson, I got what he wants me to get it. And I love him even more deeply for it. I told him how important was for me to find the little things that for some people does not seem like a big deal, but he does not really care, all he cares is how you truely feel and what can he do to make you feel better. So I asked him to help me find my little things... and he did. I found my photo camera, my favorite pants, and my hubby got a bonus at work that made possible for us to have the money from the tickets I'd bought, I even found something elese that I was not looking for, the remote for car's dvd player. I haven't found my video cam yet, but I know I will.
I'm feeling amazing and very happy! I know other trials will come, and all got to remember were I need to go to get the right awnsers, to hear what I need to hear.

I wish...

I wish I never said what I said...

I wish I never believed your complaints

I wish I didn't care so much to the point were I got hurt too

I wish I had a better judgment

I wish I never got so involved

I wish I never had chosen to be involved

I wish I had the guts to tell you "SHUT UP!"

And all that I wish... Is that I was worthy to be there...

Into thy hands I give you my sorrows...

...so I can be made free

Paint by Cristina Wilberg

Ironic, just yesterday I try to tell myself that I was loved

I have been fighting all week this feeling of being punished... and today, I can't help it any longer. The little girl inside my heart is really receiving the message "yes, you are a bad girl that's why you are being punished!" Since the bad event last thursday, my heart has been aching pretty bad. Not only that, but a list of few little weird things going on all around me lately has become a real big deal, like I lost my favorie pair of pants, I lost my video and photo camera, the mouse on the computer broke, I lost my cell phone, I had to cancel my trip to washignton to see my childhood friends because of a very stupid mistake I made when I bought the tickets.... I was supose to be there tomorrow!!!!! I'm so jelous of my other two friends, they are together right now and happy and laughing together... I was supose to be there...there with them too... I just feel like... everything is going wrong around me. And I know I can't blame no one but me. I feel I deserve everything that has happen, and if there is more to come, I deserve that too! I am sooo sad... I wish I could find my favorite pants, or my cameras, or something... at least something. I dont know. I saw that my friends try to call me several times today to let me know that L. arrived safe over there from her trip. I don't feel like talking... not at all.

I have no idea what is the purpose behind all of this, all I feel is that I deserve it. And I probally do, I am not innocent.

Feeling Loved

I don't know if you know this about me already, but I love birds and butterflies! I love all Havenly Father's creations...except for frogs. They are just so ugly! Some people find them pretty fascinating, but I see them as fascinatingly ugly! urgh!

Birds and butterflies have a very special place in my heart. I love them.

Now that we are on winter season, the butterflies are gone, but the birds are still around. Right in front of my kitchen's sink, there's a window, were I look through it every morning to see the sun light and the birds flying in the back yard. Havenly Father knows how much I love them, and when I get to see one, I take that as an "I love you" from the Lord to me, because I know in my heart that's his way to send his love note, because seeing something you love so much it does not just happen, the Lord does on purpose, because he meanted, because he wants us to know how much he loves us. And All that I can say is... "I love you too" in return of his kindness.

Well said...

Very well said..

and I just cried and cried...

Yep! Because I felt like the most horrible mother on the earth today... Man! I'm sooo greatful for the gift of the Holy Ghost, he really saved my life today as I was stuck at the supermarket parking in lot with a car that would not freaking shut off the alarm system, and with four kids in the car hungry and tired and three of them were just CRYING their heads out because they all want to go home!!!

And everything started as I was at the store, for a few minutes, and a lady on the car next to my decide to call the police when I showed up and told them about my unattend children... I just couldn't believe that was happening to me... I just cried and cried... why? Because I couldn't start the car, I couldn't get the stupid alarm to shut it off because we never had the locker!!! (I'm so angry!!) and to make it worst, when the police officer arrived, the idiot lady stood there starring at me like I was the worst mother on the planet! That does it! She really got what she wanted from me and that is to make feel like a was not a good mom... and I felt like that... I am still feeling that I am a horrible mother!

AWWW!!! How sweet what just happen to me right now, my dear daughter just gave me a kiss and a hug... she probally felt I was in need of some love. Her kiss and hug I'll take as a testemony from her that I'm not a bad mom... thanks a lot darling!

How the Holy Ghost saved me? Well, as I sat in the car crying and praying, a very soft voice spoke to me and said how I could stop the alarm for going off. He told me to lock the car from the inside and to give tha car key to the police officer to open the door from the outside, and guess what? It work!

What A afternoon! Thank goodness I wont take that as MY WHOLE DAY was ruinned, but just as an AFTERNOON... that will do just fine.

Yes...

Is pretty cold, and I would love to have a cup of hot cocoa... but there are so many things that I would love to have. One of them is that I would love to get rid of this ugly purple sweater I'm wearing right now, it makes me look like an old lady! I wish I'd had never bought this sweater... frustrading huh? It's ok, at least the sweater serves it's purpose in keep me warm, he is not completely useless, but if it was, it would make the situation a lot worst, so I have to be greatful for that. How funny! Look how I'm so focus on this stupid sweater, I dind't even know how much it bother me 'til now... hum... Life is weird... and I love every single minute of it!

p.s. that is not the sweater, my is too ulgy to post a picture.