2010...The most important lesson

You know, I've been thinking about this year of 2010, and what have I learned from all the trials and from the good and the bad experiences.
I'll tell you that, God has really thought me some very important lessons about  FREE AGENCY and many other gifts.
I learned that we do have the free will to choose.. man! Is kinda hard to talk about this for me, because, the Lord showed me in a very sacred way the value of free will. I'll just let you know this, FREE WILL it's an amazing, wonderful gift! And I'm so greateful, very greateful to have and to know how important it is. But there is a limit, there is a moment were God has to step in and make the final choice for you, and is at that point, were your free will don't really matter, you have to live with the consequence of that choice, being that choice good or bad (O be wise: what can I say?- Jacob 6-12).
That's all I can say... be wise.
This year I learned to loose the FEAR OF DEATH. Loosing those who I loved so dearly, and even mourning for those who lost someone that I haven't even met, help me to grow the desired in my heart to be READY when my time comes.
To deal with so many deaths this year, has showed me that it is real, and it does come to everybody and everyone, specially to those close to us... even me. And it can come in the most unexpected way. That's why we have to LIVE our lives, and not just survived.
This year I've learned that GOD's will is more important than anything. He is the wisest of the wisest, and no matter how much we want something, His final decision is the most important... BECAUSE HE KNOWS BETTER! And I have a testimony of that.
This year I learned that God never, never leaves us alone, He is always there, right by our side.
This year I had to learned to reconized when He was with me, I had to learn to read His little daily love notes to me saying "Good morning child! I'm here". He helped me to open my eyes to see Him in my husband's beautiful eyes, in my children's laugh, in a friend's smile, in a beautiful sunny day, in a very storming night (I love the rain!), in a very cloudy day, in the blowing wind, in a bird flying in the sky, in the air I breathe, in the beat of my love's heart... He show me all this by saying "you see child, I'm everywhere. Anytime you need me, I'm here. And all you need to do, is open your eyes to see Me right in front of you". He's is there even when there's nothing to see, even, if I was locked in a completely empty and dark room, He would still be there inside me, in the beating of my heart, in every breath that I take.
I've learned this year, that when I feel tormented, stressed or distracted, and one of my children comes to me asking for something like a glass of water, milk, or for some atention, so I got that as God saying "look at me child, I'm just reminding you, I'm right here" (Suffer the little children to come unto me, because theirs is the kingdom of God).
I've learned this year, what great gift is to have a fisical body. But on top of that, I learned that my body don't make me who I truely Am. It's funny how i didn't really get these things before. We learned over and over again in church about the importance of your spirit well being. But then, satan step's right in makes you forget all, by tell you "your body makes you who you are". And today I looked at my body and thought to my self "man! no matter how hard I try to keep my self looking young, when we are all going to have the same destiny... we are all going to die and leave this body on the earth for while...".
 Look at your hand right now, come on, look! Open and close her. Don't you see? That's is not just your body or your brain doing it... IT'S YOUR SPIRIT! Think about it! You did not have a body before, and now, you have this wonderful gift that you can control, that you can feel, smell, speak, blink, see, taste,  breath... just feel it for a moment... relax, let your spirit enjoy this now... your true self... your celestial self... :) That's who you are... you are celestial... a child of God.
Please, don't look at imperfections right now, just be greateful, just live this moment, let your spirit be joyful about this wonderful gift. And to think that two of us, a Man and a Woman together they carry the ingredients that God uses to create more bodies, holy temples, houses for others spirits who will have this same privilege... it's all a beautiful miracle! This is the perfect word to describe... BEAUTIFUL!
Another very important lesson learned in 2010 is always BE GREATEFUL! Not just in words, but by actions too. I learned that a greatful person keeps a very positive atitude about things. And I had to learned that in a very hard way, but I did get the message ;0)
And the final lesson (for now, because I know I have a lot a lot to learn still), TRUST IN GOD WITH ALL THY HEART MIND AND SOUL! That's a testimony I have very strong is DO NOT QUESTION, DO NOT ASK WHY, BUT WHEN GOD ALLOW SOMETHING TO HAPPEN IT'S BECAUSE HE KNOWS BETTER!!!
I am witness of our Father in Heaven's power. I trust Him will all my heart, even when things seems so dificult and hopeless, I know is for our own good. LET THY WILL BE DONE LORD! I don't know how many times I had to do that this year, but I tell you something, everytime I did, things turned around ok, even more than ok. And there is not such a thing as "hopeless", as long as the Savior of the world lives, there will be hope, because Jesus Christ is hope in the form of a person, and He will live forever, and so will hope.
I leave this testemony with all of you for 2010:
God and Jesus Christ live! And their love for us is infinite! And to trust in God is the greatest gift that someone can seek for. And gratitude can bring peace and happiness to someone's heart.
And don't forget " You are a spirit being having human experiences".
In The name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.

I want a Jesus' visit for Christmas

I want to share with all of you a little Christmas story that I've heard when I was 8 years old from a teacher of my from 2nd grade.

"I want a Jesus' visit for Christmas"

It was Christmas eve, and the rich lady was getting ready for bed. She had all the money that someone would like to have, and a beautiful family, and a very nice home. And before she laid down to sleep, she prayed. In her prayer, she asked God "Father in Heaven, I'm very thankful for all that you have done for me, but one thing I ask of thee, please let me have Jesus come to visit me tomorrow, on Christmas day, that would make my life so worth living." And she fell asleep with tears in hear eyes.
That night, she had a dream. In her dream Jesus came to her and said "you shall have as you wish, I'll come tomorrow to spend Christmas with you". And she woke up with her heart full of joy!
She sent the servants to clean up the whole house, and to cook the best feast, because "on this day" she said "we are going to have a very, very special gest. I want everything to be perfect!".
And as the day went on, she hears a knock on the door, she runs to open and to her surprise, there it was, a homeless man baging for some food. She looks at him and says "Oh, I'm so sorry! I wish I could help you today, but I am waiting for someone very special, but if you come back tomorrow, I'll for sure feed you ok?" And the man went on his way.
Few hours later, there was another knock at the door, "that must be Him!" she says, and when she opens, there it was a couple of hungry children baging for some food. She looks at them and says "oh my darlings! I wish I could invite you in, but I am waiting for someone really special today, come back tomorrow, and I give you something all right?" And the children went on their way too.
The day was near the end, and Jesus did not come, and the rich lady's heart was broken... "how could you Lord? You promised me that you would come" and feeling so sad, she deicided to go to bed. And in her dreams, Jesus came again, and she asked him "Lord, why you did not come? I had everything ready for you, but you did not come...why?" And Jesus looked in her eyes and says "My dear child, I came twice to your door and I was very hungry, and both times you send me way".

May the true spirit of Christ will shine in your heart!
Happy CHRISTmas!
Feliz Natal!

Steve died...

Steve died, and went to heaven. When he arrived there, he noticed a line of people in front of a door waiting.
So asked the person in front of him " what is going on there?"
The person anwsers "We are all waiting to be interviewed."
So Steve waited for his turn. And as came closer to the door, he could hear the person who was in front of him being interviewed. He heard the man asking the person "Do you know Jesus?" and the Man says "yes, I do. I know that He preached on the earth, and that He callded apostles to help him on his work". "that's very good." The interviewer says. And then he repeats the question "do you know Jesus?" and the man says "I know that he's our Savior, and that he gave up his life to save all of us." The interviewer looks down with a dispointment expression on his face and tells the man that he could go now, and he calls the next person in line.
Steve enters the room, and when he looks at the interviewer's face he falls down on his knees and says "My Lord! My God! My Savior!

He Lives! My kindly heavenly friend...

He Lives My mansion To Prepare...

He Lives to bring me Savely there.

Do we know Jesus?

I know that My Redeemer Lives!!!

Why do I have To go to Church on Sunday?

I have been thinking about this for a while now, why do I have to go church every Sunday? Does it really matter if I'm there or not? Why so many of the people I know has gone inactive? Why?

After pondering about this, something really hard striked me about our Father in Heaven.

I've heard so many reasons of the "why" someone decided not to go church any more. But one of them that really got me was "I don't need go to church. God don't really care if I'm not there, as long as I keep worshiping from my house, that's all that really matters, because I know He loves me." You know what? There's some truth to that, the part where this person said "I know He loves me" That is true, He loves every single person on this planet. But why would God go through so much... sooo much to have His gospel restored in these latter days, if don't really matter if we are in church or not? Would not be better if He let everything  to be the same from 200 years ago?

You know, ingratitude is one of the number one feelings in this world today. Think of all the things God's chosen have to go through to have this gospel to be restored to this Earth. Look at Joseph Smith, the Pioneers, the Apostles of old... look at our Savior Jesus Christ. If our Father in Heaven don't really care having us on church every sunday, why would He sacrifice His only begotten Son? Why would He allowed such kind man as Joseph Smith, to suffer so much for the church's sake?

And that's how much it matter for all of us to be at church on sundays.

Do we have a testemony of these people who went through severe trials so we could all have what we have now? I do.

It is important that we keep worshiping God from our homes, from our cars, from anywhere, as long we don't lose sight of the importance of the Restoration. This work cost the lives of many, many wonderful people so we could all enjoy the blessings of worshiping God at His house too... every sunday.

He loves us dearly, every single one of us.

Is unbelieveble how so many go inactive for very, very foolish reasons. The church of Christ is not a chuch of the people, but the church of God. The members will never be perfect, but God himself always will.

One time, my Bishop asked the sunday school class this question "why are you guys here today?" after listining to all the anwsers, he said "you're all right. But the number one reason you are all here today is because God has pre-ordeained you, and you all here because of Him."

And he is right!!! That's why I need to be there! I love my God, and not just the people.

I'm very blessed to be part of the restored gospel... WHAT A BLESSING IT HAS BEEN IN MY LIFE!!! I'M TRUELY A HAPPY PERSON!

I'm very blessed to be in a ward full of really wonderful people, who cares about each other, but even though, if that was not case, I would still go, because all that really matters is that matters to God that I am there every sunday.

In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen.

It really happen... it is true!

I Need You Because I love You...

"I Need You Because I love You! I don't love You because I need you."

Few weeks ago, I watched a special show on PBS about "LOVE". It was there  where I heard the phrase I posted on the top.

It was a very interesting show to watch, it really opened my eyes and mind to alot things. That phrase, got me deep into my soul, and had me wondering about those that I truely love for who they are and not because I need them.

The world today is full of those who loves someone because they have a need of them.

Many claim to love someone, but all they are looking for is to benefit from that "love".  And I took a good look at my self and asked "Do I love them because I need something from them?" And a bunch of people came to my mind, and every single one of them I need in my life because I love them dearly. And those who makes me not feel like myself around them, it just does not work for me.

But what hurts the most, is when we try to show to someone saying "look, I'm here because I love you" and then you relized that they don't love you in the same way, and you feel like your heart is going to brake in a thousand pieces... I know is never easy to go throught something like that but, even to wait to have them love you back is not true love because that's waiting for something in return.

I am very, very greateful for having so many people who chosen to love me for who I am and not even ever question or made fun of my beliefs, my personality or whatever. But they treat me, full of kindness and love and they are always willing to talk and listen.

People of whom on a monthly,weekly even on a daily basis leaves little notes, e-mails, phone calls to let me know that they are there... oh, how I love them! And How I need them because of that!

It will always be hard to love those who don't love you the same way... but you know what? When they are ready, I will be here, because I love them.

One very special man waited for me for 19 years, and to think he loved so deeply even thouhg I couldn't care less about him. But he was patient and loved me anyway and waited until I was ready to turn to him.

Thank you Jesus! Thank you so much for loving me so patiently. Because in the end, when the whole world has turn their back at you, He is going to be the only one with an open arms ready to hug you and to look deep in your eyes and say

"I LOVE YOU!"

All because He is the only one who will be perfect, when everybody else will have failded you.

man.... what a busy week!

This has been a very crazy week! Today is our ward party, and this will be the first party that my hubby and I are organizing for the church. 'Til now, things are running pretty smooth, we got a lot done and lots of fun planned for the party. But what was really cute (as I was getting the chicken ready to marinnete last night), was to watch my hubby helping our little girl to make a poster about her self for school. It was soooo cute to see how involded he was, and how much wants for the poster to look good. That was my *sight* moment of the day.
Now, let's freaking finish organizing everything and take to the park!

hum...

I don't know how to start, has been while since the last time I've posted anything on  my "diarie" blog. But I got tell you this, the month of june was pretty hard for me... not the whole month of june, but just the sad, sad news that I heard from Brazil... I just can't believe that another dear friend has crossed the veil in the blooming youth of her life :'( I was still trying to recover my self from Brent's grandmother loss, I don't think anyone knows how much was still hurting, but I still do have a hard time thinking that grandma is no longer here, and to make things tough, my friend Camila, went to the otherside to be reuinited with her sister Carine of whom I loved so dearly. I just can't believe that now, they are both gone :'(
I know that Heavenly Father knows better, I know his plan is always, always perfect, and that everything happens for a reason. I do know that, and I do have a testimony about that too. But you know what? I'm human, and it's ok to hurt and to mourn the loss of someone dear to you.
And then, another sad news hit me, a friend of my from Provo, lost her 5 month old baby... I cried for her loss, because I could only imagine what she was going through. I cried with the hope that if I mourn for her baby too, would bring her some relief to her sorrowfull heart. But you know what? I'm not Christ. He is the only one who can do that for everyone, and I got to hold onto his hands, and let him hug me, and let him tell me "don't worry, everything is going to be ok, just trust me. You wont hurt very long, not either will them."
I got to have faith! I got trust my Savior, my Creator. I got be strong!
Life is precious, so so precious! I want to be ready when my time comes. I want to have the courage and the faith to know that whatever happens, that things will be all right.
We all got to live life at it's fullest, don't waste your time with stupid things or complaining too much, because is not worth it. Tomorrow don't belong to us. Live today like there is no tomorrow, and life will be a lot better if we live IT and not just survive.
"I'm the master of my fate, and the captain of my soul."

I hate off days!

In less than 24 hours I lost count of how many times I've hurt my self on accident. You know... off days were it seems like everything you do causes you get hurt, drop something because your hands feels like very slippery... I HATE OFF DAYS LIKE THAT!

Here is a clue of what happen to me in less than 24 hours:

1- I poked my finger under the nail on a pushing pin

2- I bumped my head on the pointing corner on my dvd player in the car

3- I poked my finger for the second time on another pushing pin... under another nail AGAIN!

4- I bumped my arm pretty hard on the corner of my bedroom door

5- I triped over one of my kid's toy and hurt my toe

6- I got a very bad cut on my leg when I was shaving

7- I cut my finger when I was opening a can of sienna sausages

8- I burned my self trying to get the food out of the oven

9- I bit my tongue because my baby bumped his head into my chin

10-I triped going up stairs and I hurt my toe AGAIN!

11-I scratched my finger on the ciment trying to lift a couch into inside off the ground... man! that one hurt a lot!

12-I hurt my rist on a nail

All that, in just 24 hours! Are you kidding me???? Good thing nothing was so bad that I have to be sent to hospital or anything.

But I'm pretty sure we all have those OFF DAYS that we all hate. 

True Love Song

Favorite Lines...

I love movies and music.
Here are some of my favorites lines:

"the Wife- I wan to work at the factory.
the Husband- Factory is no place for a woman!
Wife- And to be on your butt all day is no place for a man either"
(Angela Ashes)

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said -I just don't care"
(Pink)

"You're my new master now, and I love you... SQUIRELL!!!"
(UP)

"By marrying me, you just kissed yourself a princess"
( The Princess and the Frog)

"I rather hurt than feel nothing at all"
(Lady and tabellum)

"Fool! don't you know that no man can't kill me?
Eowyn- I'm no man, I'm a woman!"
(The Lord of the rings)

"I'm sweating like a sinner in church"
(The princess and the frog)

"the problem in doing the right thing is that sometimes you're got stand all by yourself"
(Alladin)

"I rather die tomorrow because I met you, than live 100 years without knowing you"
(Pocahontas)

"He is no mosnter Gaston, you are!"
(Beauty and the Beast)

"Patrick- did you see my underwear?
Mermaid- No!
Patrick- would you like to?"
(Sponge Bob Movie)

There are so many, I wish I could remember all of them.

Can't keep my eyes off of you...

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say
Just don't coming out right
I'm tripping on words,
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything he does is beautiful
Everything he does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of
You and me and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive...

...Tired

Tired??? Good! That means you made your day worth living.

And that is awsome!

saudades... missing...

Missing... someone who is gone...
Missing someone who is still the same...
Missing someone who has change so much...
Out of the three, I'll keep the one who's gone and the one who's still the same.
The one who changed so much, I no longer know you...

Saudades... de alguem que ja se foi...
Saudades de alguem que continua a ser a mesma pessoa...
Saudades de alguem que mudou demais...
Das tres, prefiro guardar a que se foi e a que e' a mesma
A que mudou demais, para mim, ja nao conheco mais.

Spring

It wont be too long now, and she will be here as beautiful a she always have been....Spring! And with her comes the beauty of blooming flowers, and with them comes the beauty and life of WOMEN wearing beautiful colorful dresses, delicate sandals, flowers on their hair and smiles like sunshine. The beauty of a feminine being is soft and gentle as a butterfly... no wonder why so many of us ladies are so in love with them. Our Father in Heaven is all about beauty. Look around you, am I right? Look how He has dressed this earth so we could live in it and be happy... be beautiful. And we, ladies just give that little touch to this heaven work of art to enhance the beauty he created for us, and all we can do is just smile a little more, be happy to be alive and be feminine that way Father in Heaven have meant for you to be. You are a WOMAN! And be very proud of that.

Fairies...

Did you ever wondered about Fairies? I have. Not the way you're thinking right now. I wonder on why they were created by the human mind?I bet you they weren't created by a guy (I may be wrong)... but by a woman's mind. When I look at a picture of fairy, all I see is what is in the woman's heart. Look at her... she's beautiful, gracious, delicate and so lovely, like a feminine being is supose to be. But one wonderful thing about fairies is that they can grant you wishes... How many of us ladies, don't wish to have that power huh? We do have a little, but how wonderful it would be to have ALL our wishes granted, it doesn't hurt to dream. :)
And like a fairy, woman is a perfect work of art, the crown of the Lord's creations, did you ever thought about that? We, women, were like the last stroke of paint in a work of art, when our Lord created Eve, He looked at the creation and said " that's perfect! Don't touch it! Now is perfect and beautiful".
Never forget that, you are beautiful for who you are, all because you've been born a woman, a precious, lovely and delicate daughter of God.

Bad...

In one of those moods...

Is really worth to write anything in here?

You know what?

I need to do it for me.

Screw the world missy!!!

Forgiveness...

WOW! That's tough...

Leting go painful memories of the past is not easy at all. Sometimes they just come out of the blue because they been treager by something someone said or something someone did. Your heart fills with fears and doubts that things will ever gone be ok. Some of us has been called " you're fat!" "you're so ugly!" "you're a loser!" "you're dumb!". Some of us been called of these things from people we really loved and who were close to us. And some of us don't want anything to do with those people anymore.

Some of the people who hurt me in the past, happily they don't have that power on me no longer. But all depends on how much will I allowed the memories to hurt me, how much will I let them control my life. That's why the Savior is there, with his open piercided hands asking me "please, let me have those memories Cristina, let me take them way from you, so they wont hurt you anymore." And as soon I do that, I feel so happy and much better.

It's war out there. Painful memories of the past are made constatly. That's why we live the present so we may have a past.

There will be mean, selfish, unconsiderant people out there, people who may be really close to you who will keep doing and saying stupid things that may hurt you. But the Savior will never leave until you give to him all the pain and bad feelings that bothers you.

Is not easy to think of something positive about someone like that huh? But if you can't think, leave it alone, is just better not think about at all for a moment.

I have to remind my self over and over again "I got the control here! Will not let that ruin my day!"

Smile! you got the power and the free will to do anything you want!

"He got the power to bruise your heel, but you got the power to crush his head"

grown up?

I was watching a Bruce Willy's movie called "The Kid", and that movie really touch me and made me wonder about my self kid. We all have one inside us, wether you want or not. We all were a kid one time in our lives, and some of us never lost the little kid. I didn't.
But that movie really got me to think, if I could go back in time as a adult to meet my self as a little girl, what would I tell her? What would I do? When would I like to come back? Because that would be very important to think of a specific situation that I would like to protect her from, you know? This is hard... because my little girl went throught soooo many heart aches...so many... And the poor thing did grow up believing she was never pretty enough, she was so hurt... she felt alone several times, she felt that no one loved her, that she would grow up to be a loser...
But wait a minute! I can go back there! Of course I can!!! I'll go there and give her a real big hug. I'll look deep in her yes and tell her "don't cry pretty girl, this suffering and pain wont last for very long. One day you will know the most wondeful feeling of love that is out there. You will meet a very, very special guy, the prince of your dreams. Oh my gosh! He will be so sweet and kind to you, he will love you no matter what! And he let you know how beautiful you really are, and how proud he is to have you in his life, and because of him you will be no loser at all, but a winner!" I can already see, she looking at me and wondering with a smile "who is he? Can you tell me?" And I'll smile back at her and say "He's really wonderful, and he will love you with all the strength of his heart, he will love the way talk, the way you laugh, he will always be ready to listen to you when you need someone to talk to. He will make your dreams come true, and his name is Jesus Christ". And then, I'll give her a real big hug and tell her how much I love her and that I'm very proud of her and that she wont hurt for very long anymore, all because her perfect guy will help her heal from all the pain and suffering that she went through. I'll thank her too and let her know that if wasn't for her, I would not be who I'm today. I'll tell her goodbye with a hug a and a kiss, let her be sure that she will find true happiness someday, and that's why I was there to let her know that.

If I could be...

*If I could be a pet... I would like to be a kitty
*If I could be a juice... I would like to be passion fruit
*If I could be a day... I would like to be the sunset
*If I could be a toy... I would like to be a Barbie :)
*If I could be an object... I would like to be a very expensive furniture
*If I could be a song... I would like to be all the love songs out there
*If I could be a food... I would not like to be fat free.
*If I could be a country... I would be Brazil of course, you knew that huh?
*If I could be a word... I would like to be "gratitude"
*If I could be me... I would like to be fearless.

sound track...

I love music. Through music I can express my feelings very well. Fellings like:Happiness, angry, frustrations, hard day, love, sorry, feelling hot, feelling "I'll show you!", felling foolish, depressed, excited, etc...
Here are some of my total favorites:

My Frustration song

My eyes are open wide

And by the way, I made througt the day

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can

To make them realize, this is my life, I hope they'll understand

I'm not angry, I'm just saying.... sometimes goodbye is a socond chance(Second Chance by Shinedown)

My "I'll show you!" song

So, so what I'm still a rock star

I got my rock moves and don't need you

And guess what

I'm having more fun

now that we're done

I'm going to show you tonight

I'm alright, I'm fine and you're a tool

So, so what I'm a rock star

I got my rock moves and I don't want you!!!!

(So What by Pink)

My feelling foolish song

But I can't help if I'm just a fool

Always having my heart set on you

'Til the time you start chaging the rules

I'll keep chansing the sole of your shoes...

aahhhh fool!!!!

(Fool by Shakira)

My feelling sorry song

I forgot to say at loud

How beautiful you really are to me...

(Don't leave me by Pink)

My I'm in love with Brent song

So I find the reason to shave my legs

Each single morning

So I count on someone on fridays nights

To take me dacing again

To church on saundays

To plant more trees

And someday think of kids

Or maybe just to save a little money

You're the one I need

The way back home is always long

But if you close to me I'm holding on

You're the one I need

My real life has just begun

Because there is nothing like your smile made of sun...

(The One by Shakira)

and now

My HOT Husband song

Lucky you were born that farway

So we can both make fun of distance

Lucky that I love a foreing land for

The lucky fact of your existence

Baby, I would climb the Andes lonely

To count the freckles on your body

Never could imagine there were only

Ten million ways to love somebody...
Can't you see...
I am at you feet!
(by Shakira)